Monday, July 11, 2011

Never Grow Up

So many people in my life growing up so fast. So many changes this year.

My little sister turns 18 on Friday. I remember her first day of school, her first day  of middle school, her first day of high school. Now it's almost time for the first day of college. She has gone through her first boyfriend, first kiss, first date, first heartache. She's had her first car, first job, first fight with her first best friend. She is about to make more memories, she has her goals set amongst the stars. And I have no doubts that she will reach her dreams and exceed everyone's expectations. That's what she does. I am so proud of that girl. And even though we have fought over the years the friendship that we are kindling will grow through out life.

I have to admit the thought of my sister going off to college in the state capital scares me. Not because I think she is stupid. Not because I think she doesn't know how to take care of herself. Simply because I know there are people who don't care who you are, what you know, anything else. They are predators and they can tell a pretty story in their attempt to make you stick close to them, to get whatever they want from you. Dickweeds. And I don't want my sister to fall prey. I don't want her to think that it can't happen to her and let her guard down. I pray that she will remember that her sister doesn't want her to not have any fun, just to be safe. I pray that I can find a way to warn her of the dangers that are very real, even in this corn field we call home, so she can keep herself safe. And I pray that I can keep the doors of communication open between ourselves so she will call me if she ever finds the need to have her big sister help her. And most of all I pray that she is willing to admit when she needs help.

My dd starts kindergarten in a little over a month. It's hard to believe its been 5 years since I brought her home. 5 years of tears, laughter, joy and trials. She is so smart, so strong, so brave. She knows all these things that are amazing to me And I love her. I am not ready to let her go off to school.  I want her to learn all the skills she will need for life, but I don't want to let someone else teach her those skills. I don't want to miss out on all those life moments. But I have to hand over the reins of teaching to some one else so I can earn the living we need. Even with dh working we aren't making enough to survive without me working. And so I don't have a choice. I can only hope that I can teach her at home patience, love, kindness, and the fruits of hard work.

I'm in an introspective mood tonight. It happens.

A crazy weekend

This has been one of those weekends that pass by in a blur, where you're rushing here and there, and then when its all over you stop and say wait...WHAT DID I DO? Because nothing got done.

But I have the primer to start painting my house. I'm gonna start in the bathroom tonight because it is a horrendous shade of fuschia that I will be more than happy to replace with white until my lovely new paint comes in. Also I will have 2 extra children running around under my feet and I think a small space will be a good place to start. That being said, my living room, which is huge and has stains every where and needed repainted about 10 years ago, is waiting until Wednesday when my daughter is at Awana's and mommy can focus on just painting it, as quickly as possible.

Sucky part of today is that my dh has to go to work. Mind you I'm blogging on my lunch break at work, but he normally has Mondays off and he works 3 to midnight so I was looking forward to going home to him. Instead I go home to 2 extra mini men (my nephews) who at least know how to make me giggle.

Anyway back to this weekend. Saturday I slept away half the day. This is not like me. I'm usually awake, staring at the ceiling, willing myself to fall back asleep at 8 on the weekends. Nope, not this weekend. Slept like a baby until 11. At which point I had to get out of bed. Nature called. At that point I had to go grocery shopping, pick up, make dinner for the stupid hour of 4 for my little sister who was stopping over on her lunch break from work, then clean up and I'm suddenly ready for bed.

Sunday I didn't sleep late. But I was waiting for my parents to get up so we could go hang out with them. By the time they were up and I got over there it was already getting hot, humid and muggy. I don't deal with the heat, not only not well but just not at all. And so they sent me home before it got too unbearable to drive in my un-air conditioned van. At home I got my dd's pool filled, and then started dinner at 3.

I was making manicotti and I had to make spaghetti sauce because my freezer was sadly empty of all sauce. Then I had to prep the manicotti and get it in the oven. When I start dinner at 3 it should not be almost 6 before I can eat.

Then my daughter who I love managed to kill her TV. Sigh. This made me very sad as all I wanted to do was relax on the couch with my husband. But first I had to go try to make her TV work. However it failed. And then mommy was upset because it was NOT in the budget to replace a TV, and dd was upset because now she can't watch her movie in her bedroom for down time (7-9 in theory). And dh just starts looking on craigslist calm as can be. Sigh.

Oh well. Now it's Monday and duty is calling me as we speak. I just want to go back to bed....

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Thankful Thursday

I'm starting a new tradition. Every Thursday I want to list at least 5 things from the week that I'm thankful for. They can be simple or complex, vague or specific. Just 5 things that I have in my life to be thankful for.

1. A clean house -- I came home from work today to find the house clean. The carpet had been vacuumed, the kitchen swept and mopped, the dishes washed, the toys put away. My dh had been busy before work. His goal - to give me a night with less to do so I could enjoy some down time. He is so wonderful. I still straightened a few things up, like my sewing table, put a few things away, miscellaneous things from the wedding, and worked on laundry (after a few attempts that resulted in wet clothing being left in laundry baskets, he has been banned from laundry), but overall it has been a relaxed restful evening.

2. A job I love -- This is so wonderful. I enjoy my job every day. I go to work knowing that that day will be different from the day before. The patients will provide new challenges and new successes. The procedures will provide a new way of performing my job. And the girls I work with are wonderful. It is 8 women working closely together to achieve a common goal. As I'm sure you can imagine, there are irritations, strife, and discord. But when the going gets tough, we band together as any good team will. I think it would be better with a male dentist to give us a sense of men against women, but we still band together. Plus I'm off my probationary period which means no more ridiculous standards I have to uphold that no one else has to.

3. Financial stability -- It is a wonderful feeling to know that the bills are paid before they are due and I have enough money to buy a few things to make our new home a little more homey.

4. Alexis -- I love my daughter. Every day she becomes a little bit different and I'm so proud of the girl she is becoming. Currently she has Awanas every Wednesday night. She loves it. She loves learning about God and the person God wants her to be. In the fall she starts tumbling because she doesn't care for tap. She wants to start girl scouts. She loves to read. She loves to write. She rides her bike like a champ. She is caring and motherly, always wanting to help the child who is sad or needs help. She is strong and sure, she knows who she is and what she likes and doesn't apologize for it. She is a blessing every day of the year.

5. My family -- My dh, my dd, my parents, my siblings. They are all such a central part of my life that I can hardly be thankful for anything less. You notice that, other than work, they are a part of everything I am thankful for. My parents have raised me to be the best I can be. My older sister is always there for me, any time day or night, and is always trying to help me be the best mom, wife, daughter, and sister that I can be. My younger sister reminds me to make the most of life and remember to stop and smell the flowers, and maybe make a daisy chain or put one in my hair while I'm at it. My brother, even if he's a pain part of the time, is loyal to a fault.

With so much to be thankful for is it any wonder I say I love my life?

Monday, July 4, 2011

4th of July

My family has had a fun day filled with family and friends.

We got up this morning and went to my sisters house. We ate bbq pork, shredded turkey, hot dogs, potato salad, potato chips, baked beans, salad, berry (strawberry, raspberry and blueberry) shortcake and cherry pie.

The kids (13, 8, 6, 6, 5, 4, 2) played in the sandbox, the pool, had a water fun fight, a water balloon fight, chased each other around the yard and in general were wild.

The adults sat around a fire (not because it was cool or anything, but because who doesn't like a fire) and talked and laughed (and got sunburnt).

We watched all the dogs (Shasta, a chocolate lab, Sammi, a golden retriever, Mouse, a daushchund, and Reggie, a beagle) play together. We also watched all the kids play with the dogs and the farm cats.

In general we enjoyed each other's company, the ability to sit back and let the kids play with different playmates and\or a different surrounding, and the beautiful weather.

We try to do this once a month. It is a group consisting of my sister Jessica, her husband Shane, her daughters (Araya, 6, Nevaeh 4) and son (Carter, 2), our good fried Sam and TJ and their boys (Craige, 13, Mason, 8, and Quintyn, 6), my younger sister Katrina. Occasionally her friend Sam will come, sometimes my brother Frank, and his friend Jake. Today Sam and Jake came but Frank was staying at a friend's house. Last month it was at my new house over memorial day weekend, as a housewarming party. Yes I know that is May and this is July but with our wedding last month we were too busy to do the bbq.

We figured out the next few bbqs. The 23rd we are going to Sam and TJs house and Labor day weekend we are going to jessicas. If we get together in August we will come to my  house. It just depends on our schedules. With all our children and different schedules it's hard sometimes to get together, but when we do its nice to hang out, relax and enjoy some different company.

Now we are back home. We walked up to the babysitter's house because she invited us to sit in her yard to watch fireworks. They put on a decent fireworks show and we all had fun. Alexis was asleep within 5 minutes of laying her down. It was a fun day.

Friday, July 1, 2011

The Quilting Bug

That's right, another person has been bitten by the quilting bug. And the worst part? The fabric shopping.

I've always been a fabric junkie but without a sewing machine, not sure how to sew by hand, and no space to store it, I haven't bought any. I have just looked. I love fabric stores and fabric sections. I love looking at colors. I love looking at how patterns go together and can complement one another.

To understand how much I love putting two totally different patterns together and finding how they can work you would have to see my dd's fleece blanket.

This past Thanksgiving weekend I was hit by a deer. And I mean that literally. It jumped into the side of my van, breaking my passenger window, putting a heck of a dent into the my passenger door, and scaring me. Luckily my little one wasn't with me. However her fleece blanket that I had made for her when she was born was set on the passenger seat, where she had left it when she went into daycare. It was then covered in tiny pieces of shattered glass.

Now if anyone knows how you can get all of that out I'd be happy to know because I'm not sure there aren't still pieces of the glass dust on the seat of my van. However it wasn't a risk I was willing to take with my daughter's blanket that even at 4 1\2 (at the time) she wanted every night to sleep with, cuddled up with to watch cartoons with, snuggled into when it had been a long day, etc. And so it went into the dumpster without a second thought, just plenty of worries and heartache. Many had tried to replace this infant sized blanket with a more appropriate sized one, and yet none could take the place of this one that Mommy had made.

I told her that she could go with me to pick out new fabric and we would make a new blanket together. And the fabric she chose, well most wouldn't have put these two patterned fleeces together. One side is light purple with white heart outlines. The other side is fuschia with hearts, peace signs, etc in purple, orange and red. However I saw possibility. Both had purple, both had hearts. This is still not enough that I would have picked these 2 out to go together, except she was set that this is what she wanted.

This blanket still has not taken the place of the duckie blanket that was lost. There are still times when she is sick or tired that she cries and wants that blanket back. But it was the best that could be done.

And so, back to the point that was being made before I went off on a back story, quilting appeals to the part of me that likes to put patterns that don't necessarily go together together anyway, that likes to put colors and patterns together and make something beautiful. No one looks at the patterns and colors of a fabric and says those shouldn't go together. They look at the big picture, the whole quilt, and the beauty of it.

And so, while working on a sampler, I am also mentally choosing my future projects.

Like a attic window quilt for my daughter done with flowers and butterflies as the 'window' portion.

An advent calendar to become our new family's tradition.

A quilt for in the living room in the colors of our living room.

A runner for the kitchen table.

A wedding quilt for my dh and I, even if it is after our wedding.

Lap quilts for my nieces and nephews.

Yup I've been bitten and hard.

My dh's favorite part. I went through my part of the wardrobe and pulled out clothes I don't like, don't fit, or have holes and put them into my scrap fabric bucket. Anything thrifty is good with this family.

My favorite thing? He likes to do woodworking. I can think of a million projects for him to help me, to compliment my quilts, to keep him busy (and spending money) so I can stay busy (and buy more fabric).

It's been a good first week of marriage and it's only going to keep getting better. :-)